I owe all you people an apology. Really.
The reason I started this blog was to write about thoughts and life and things and stuff. Mostly, I’ve done that. But until now I have left out one
huge giant very important sizable detail about my life the past 2 months.
I mean, he’s cute right? You can’t tell me he’s not. Sorry to all you other dog-owners out there but my dog, Rio, is objectively the cutest and the best. (that might be a direct quote from Taylor)
And due to my omission of him on this blog, you have missed the first two months of his life with us… and that’s just in human years. In dog years, we brought him home and then we blinked and he’s heading off to college already. He’ll probably get married within the next week. I mean, look at him. You try to say no to those eyes.
As I was tossing and turning last night, losing sleep (not really, sorry) over how to make this up to you, I came to this conclusion: You deserve more than just hearing ABOUT Rio. I could tell you story after story, but that just won’t cut it. Not now. No, you my friend deserve to walk through a day in Rio’s life from his perspective, to be inside his mind, and see what he sees.
So, here it goes:
[Ungodly hour of the morning]
“Dad dad dad dad dad dad dad dad. DAAAAAAAD. Dad. Look at me look at me look at me. You smell weird.”
[Slightly more reasonable hour of the morning]
“This is getting old. I’ve jumped up on the bed like 400 times now and they’re not…. YAAAAAYYYYYY Dad! dad dad dad dad dad. Can we play? I’m ready to play. And pee really bad. Oh, man do I need to pee. It took you long enough to get out of bed. No time for coffee dad, I have to peeeeeeeee. And also, I love you. I love you i love you i love you i will always love you.”
[Takes Rio outside]
“Aaahhhhhhhh! So many smells! So many glorious, stinky smells! So much to see and smell and have to find the perfect place…. the perfect….. ah here. Right here. I really hope no other dogs walk up on me right now, how embarrassing. SQUIRREL!!!! Squirrel squirrel squirrel. I dare you to come down from that tree squirrel. I dare you. Quit mocking me.. hear me roar!”
[ Later on ]
“Mmmm… this carpet tastes good.”
[ Even later ]
“This Christmas tree thing is great! The leaves are crunchy and sharp, but at least my breath will smell piney fresh.”
[At the park]
“Run run run run run run stop… where are you? Keep up. Ok you’re here. Run run run run run stop hurry up hurry up run run run run ooohhhh a stick! Sticks are my favorite. I love sticks. Run run run sniff sniff sniff run run run stop dig dig dig dig dig. This mud feels so good all over my fur!”
[Back at home]
“Oh please not again. Please pleeeaaaasseeeeee. I’ll do anything. Anything. Just please don’t make me get in the bathtub. PLEASE. pluuueaaase….. I hate this. I can’t wait until I’m big enough where you can’t lift me up anymore. Then, I’ll show you.”
[The bath aftermath]
“Get it off get it off get it off. Maybe if rub my body on anything I can find I’ll stop smelling like a flower.”
“Mmmm… this rope tastes good. Ohp! Hairball… the perfect payback.”
“Guys guys guys guys guys. Are we going to bed? Can I come up there? Guys? What are you guys talking about? What’s going on? Give me the low-down. Guys. Seriously? Guys.”
“Hahahaha the high pitched whine always gets them. Every time. It’s so horrible. I want to tell myself to shut up. But who’s on the bed now?”
And, there you have it. I guess you haven’t really missed that much after all.