in which i light a candle

Today is rainy and dreary in Austin. For me, today, that fits.

I’ve been struggling to find words all day, but each time I try to go there the lump in my throat rises, and the tears begin to flow again.

The only words that have come to mind: grief, lament.

I do not write this assuming I know how you feel. The last thing I want to do today is project how I’m feeling on you. Not today, not in a time where we desperately need to listen, to see each other, to find some common ground to stand on.

But for me, today is for grief.

I believe with all of my heart that God is still on this throne. He is not surprised by voting results, nor is he threatened. He is Light, and He has already overcome the darkness. I believe that in the very core of my being. I believe that the church – the true followers of Jesus – have a great opportunity, and I believe we will rise up and love.

But, I cannot ignore the deep ache in my soul today and I’m struggling to find a way through – as a believer, as a woman, as an American.

Because I also believe that Jesus fiercely loves the outcast, the marginalized, the oppressed. I cannot begin to imagine what today might be like for people of color, my friends and family in the LGBTQ community, Muslim-Americans, immigrants and refugees, or women who have been abused and pushed aside. But, I want you to know that I see you, I hurt with you, I love you. The convictions I have, that so many of us have, about the value of all humanity aren’t going away simply because someone was elected President and someone else wasn’t. I am with you.

So this morning, I did the only thing I knew to do when I can’t find words. I lit a candle for us, and I prayed.

……………..

I am deeply thankful for strong women of God in leadership, especially in times like these. I read a few things today that I wanted to share, in case they help you find your way through as well.

In Which I Dare Not Tell You How To Feel This Morning – Emily Freeman

This is the Guaranteed Outcome of the Election – Michael Wear

Love to you, friends.

 

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